


The Day Santa Claws Died

by LosttotheHoping



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: AU, Christmas, F/M, Humor, In Which Shippo and Rin are SessKag's kids, Random - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1746290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LosttotheHoping/pseuds/LosttotheHoping
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Santa Claus is in town, and Sesshomaru's determined not to let him in the house.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day Santa Claws Died

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueHeaven'sAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=BlueHeaven%27sAngel).



> This was an entry for a Secret Santa exchange several years ago.

“... Oh my god, Sesshomaru, what the hell have you done?” a familiar voice squeaked, sounding mortified.

Sesshomaru whipped around at the sound of his mate’s shocked voice.  Silence fell.  He did not know quite how to answer that one...  What had he done?  Well...  Exterminated the perverted intruder, of course.

The intruder dressed completely in red.

Santa Claws.

Santa was not a demon, though, as Sesshomaru had expected.  No, he was quite human.

Oops.  Still, it was quite necessary!  She would see.  Yes, she would see...

“Kagome... I can explain...” he started, and began to spin his tale.

_Twas the night before Christmas_

_When all through the shrine_

_Not a person was stirring_

_Well, except that yokai this time_

Sesshomaru crept silently through the house, more than a little suspicious.  He had heard tales of some creature called ‘Santa Claws’, and was bound and determined to not let the vile thing into his home.  Who knew what he would try to do?  Peep on his mate?  Harm his children?  Poison his family?  Steal their gifts?  Take his unborn _pup_?

Well, Sesshomaru would not let anything of the sort happen.  He was going to protect what was his, and if that meant taking out the assassin, so be it.

He would not allow Santa Claw’s reign of terror to continue.

_There were no stockings_

_Or bright Christmas lights_

_No carefully wrapped presents_

_Waiting unwatched this night_

Earlier, after everyone had gone to bed, Sesshomaru had made sure to hide everything from this Santa thing.  He wasn’t going to let the bastard steal the presents he’d bought for his lovely family.  No way in hell.

Instead, Sesshomaru waited, crouched in a shadowy corner. He eyed the Christmas tree with a great amount of suspicion, as if he expected the man to just pop up out of nowhere and start hacking the thing down.  He expected nothing less of a man named “Santa Claws.”  Well, Old Santa had nothing on _his_ claws.

In any case, the shrine didn’t have a fireplace, for which he was glad.  There would be no easy breaking and entering for that beast today!

Or... well, at least not from a stupid chimney.

_Not a sound could be heard_

_Not even a mouse_

_For mice were nonexistent_

_In Sesshomaru’s House_

Sesshomaru jumped at any sound he heard.  He was just waiting for the fool to appear.  It was already midnight, but the guy was nowhere in sight.  Sesshomaru was starting to doubt, recalling Kagome’s earlier explanation.

_“He doesn’t exist, Sesshomaru,” she said, as if trying to placate him.  “It’s a kid thing.  Didn’t you ever believe in fairy tales when you were a child?”_

_“No.”_

_“No, you wouldn’t,” she said with a sigh.  “Well, he’s not real, so just go to bed already and stop worrying like an old woman.”_

He wasn’t worrying like an old woman.  He was being very reasonable in his worry.  According to Rin, there were all sorts of people who would just let this Santa Claws person into their homes, letting him do unspeakable things.

(Of course, Rin’s explanation had been about things far less dangerous than the conclusions that Sesshomaru was jumping to.)

_The hours passed by_

_Long, cold and dull_

_For it would appear_

_That the rumors were null_

Sesshomaru shifted on his perch (the book case in the corner), getting bored.  Perhaps Kagome had been right, and Santa Claws was really just a myth.  He was nowhere to be seen, no matter how long Sesshomaru was going to wait.

Should he just call it a night then?  Perhaps he would feel better about all of this in the morning.  Or at least, the daiyokai hoped that he would.  Kagome often recited that everything looked better after a good night’s sleep.

Maybe it would work for him too (though he doubted it).

Sighing, Sesshomaru shook his head and was just about to get up when...

_Then just as the clock_

_Chimed for the 3rd hour or morn_

_A soft sound of footstep_

_Was the indicating horn_

... when he heard someone outside.  The crunching of snow reached his ears and Sesshomaru tensed, eyes narrowed.  He heard the scraping of metal on the door, then the sound of the lock breaking.

_Is he using a crow bar?  How irritating.  He could just use his claws...  This Sesshomaru could do so much better._

After a beat of silence, the door was opened and someone slipped inside.  It was him.  That Santa Claws man.  Sesshomaru recognized him, decked out in red, with his long white beard and a red and white hat on his head.  And over his shoulder rested the standard ‘sack of presents’, though it looked no more full than an empty glass.

Golden eyes narrowed and a malicious grin spread on his face.  He’d take care of the fool that tried to harm _Sesshomaru’s_ beloved ones.

_Twas the night before Christmas_

_And oh, what tragedy_

_That Sesshomaru acted alone_

_Instead of phoning in B &E_

xXx

Kagome got up sometime around three thirty in the morning.  She was hungry, ravenous really (it came with being pregnant, she had heard).  However, something was off.  Different.  Out of place.

Oh.  Sesshomaru was not in bed.

She rolled her eyes as she got up.  Was he sitting out there waiting for Santa to show?  That idiot.  She had _told_ him that the guy wasn’t real!  Why couldn’t he believe her!

Someone was getting the couch, she vowed.  Then she grabbed her robe, slid it on, tied the sash and stomped out of the room.

She was too hungry for this bull shit.

_Tap tap tap_

_Down the stairs she goes_

_What she’ll find at the bottom_

_Well, we already know_

“Oh my god, Sesshomaru Taisho, I’m going to kick your inuyokai ass!” Kagome hissed.  “How could you!?  You killed Santa Claus!” 

“He was breaking into our home!” he retorted angrily.

“He was going to leave us presents!”

“With a 9mm gun?!”

Silence.  “A what?”  Kagome stared at her mate as he held up the previously mentioned gun.  She paled considerably and stumbled back, leaning against the wall.  “Oh dear gods,” she muttered, eyes wide.

Sesshomaru put it down and went to hold her.  “At least he is no longer a problem,” he said, the most awkward consolation ever, but it was the best he could come up with on short notice.  (He was a man of action, not words.)

_Of course, their adventure was not over_

_For right at that moment_

_Down the house stairs_

_Came their beloved children_

“I hear the children,” Sesshomaru suddenly said.

“Oh, shit!  Hide him!” Kagome replied, eyes wide.

He darted to the couch and grabbed the blanket off the back, draping it over Santa and then sitting on the body.  Kagome made a face and turned just as Shippo and Rin came into the room.

“Mamma!  Did I hear Santa?” Rin asked, running into the miko’s arms.

“Um, no, baby,” Kagome muttered.

Shippo sniffed at the air.  “I smell cookies.  Did you make cookies, mamma?” he asked innocently.

“... um, I was preparing them, Shippo,” Kagome said, shooting her husband a venomous glare.  “You guys should go back to bed, ‘cause then morning will come sooner and you’ll get your presents, okay?”

“Okay!” they chimed and left, surprisingly easily.

_One catastrophe aborted_

_Now onto the main task_

_To get rid of Santa’s body_

_Before the children came back_

“We’ve gotta hide the body,” Kagome decided, though she didn’t like the thought of becoming a criminal.

“I will melt it,” Sesshomaru replied bluntly.

“What?  No!” Kagome cried.  “That’s... so... disrespectful!  And... and Shippo would smell it and get suspicious!”

Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed.  “Perhaps we shall have to move it first, then.”

Kagome groaned, but she couldn’t think of anything better.  “Okay, let’s take him to the woods across town.”

“Why across town?” Sesshomaru demanded.  “We have some here, on the property-”

“Shippo... will smell... it,” she said slowly, as if he were a moron (she was starting to believe he was, too).  “Got it?  C’mon; we’ll use the car.”

Sesshomaru released a long-suffering sigh but hefted the body with ease and brought it outside as she drove the car around.

_Somehow, luck stayed with them_

_On their trip through the town_

_They weren’t pulled over_

_Well, that’s one errand down_

When they reached the woods, they were completely alone, for which Kagome was glad.  Sesshomaru retrieved the dead Santa from the trunk and they walked into the forest.

Kagome was shivering in her clothes, having not thought about dressing warmer.  She had been too busy panicking.

“It will be fine,” Sesshomaru said softly as they walked along.

She jumped and looked up at him.  “Wha- oh, yes.  I know.  I trust you, Sesshomaru.”

He cast her a glance and nodded.  “I know.  I thank you for it,” he replied, softly.

The miko reached out and threaded her fingers with his, smiling slightly.  After a few minutes of silence, she stopped.  “Here should be fine.”

Her mate nodded and dropped the body to the ground, melting it quickly and efficiently.  “We’re done, let us return.”

_And on back to their home_

_The duo did go_

_For after this venture_

_Sleep would surely come slow_

xXx

Christmas morning, Sesshomaru and Kagome jumped when there was a loud banging on the door.  Nervously, they exchanged a look before Sesshomaru got up to get it.

He pulled the door open and stared expressionlessly out at the police on his doorstep.  “Can I help you?” he asked coolly.

One of them shifted nervously.  “Ah, well... Sir, this is going to sound really stupid... but we’re... looking for Santa Claus.  Have you seen him?”  He eyed the broken lock on the door.

“Santa Claus is a myth,” Sesshomaru replied, straight faced.  “Were you not told?”

The guy cringed and then sighed.  “Well... It’s this guy from the mall... he’s a thief, going around stealing from the wealthy and-”

“What?!” Shippo cried, peeking around Sesshomaru’s legs.

Rin, beside him, burst into tears.  “How can you say such awful things about Santa?” she cried, burying her face in her hands.

Sesshomaru twitched, even as Shippo turned to console his sister.  “... you made my children cry, officer,” he said in his most dangerous voice.

Both men on the doorstep paled.  “S-sorry!” one yelped, stumbling back as Sesshomaru advanced.

Luckily (for them), Kagome appeared and grabbed her mate, jerking him inside.  “We haven’t seen him, go away, good bye,” she said quickly and slammed the door shut.  “No killing police officers, Sesshomaru!” she hissed scoldingly.  
  
He was anything but contrite.

**Author's Note:**

> For the amusement of myself and anyone else, please picture "Santa" as Jakotsu.


End file.
